Julie Parker
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How To Give Up Worrying What Others Think Of You

How To Give Up Worrying What Others Think Of You

28 Jun, 2016 | BLOG, Healing & Mental Health, Heart Centred Living

There are lots of ways that we can – if we allow ourselves to – be our own worst enemy. A self-saboteur of the grandest proportions. The pourer of cement in our own boots. Feel me?  Know what I’m talking about? I think we ALL do! And often the way we...

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I'm Julie
A space that I hope brings you meaning, hope and inspiration on topics such as healing, spirituality, sacred leadership and sovereignty. A whole lot of heart and meaning. Hopefully a little grace. To help you create life, business and spiritual magick.

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julesyparker

Julie Parker
Throughout my almost two decades in business the v Throughout my almost two decades in business the very best spend of money I've ever made has always been directly on me. I've done business courses, masterminds, media training, money management, online course development - the works. And while there have been a couple I've questioned if the investment was truly worth it, overall they all have had value in some form or another. Some of them deeply so. However when I think back over all the investments I have made to create the stable, flourishing + deeply nourishing business I now have, it's been when I've invested in experiences that have helped me to be a richer + deeper space holder + more authentically grounded + connected M E that I have the deepest gratitude for. Exploring my Celtic ancestry, embracing myself as a modern day priestess, getting therapy to address my deep seated people pleasing + fear of abandonment, learning to connect deeper with my body + somatic self - all of them helped me to become better at my craft. Listening. Intuiting. Feeling. Seeing. Holding. Uplifting. Challenging. Honouring. Expanding. At the deepest levels with profound + often life + business changing results that change the trajectory of peoples lives. Every time I have devoted to myself I have also devoted to my craft. My deepest desire to become a better coach. A more skilled supervisor. A more reverent mentor. A more confident breathwork facilitator. And a more loving energy practitioner. Investing in the deepest parts of yourself is a portal to not just personal growth but business growth as well. In every possible way. Clients. Opportunities. Visibility. Subscribers. And more... Join me + @heart_sparks at The Sacred Leadership Retreat for Space Holders, June 9th-12th at @summer_house_retreat for a divinely held experience that will honour you for where you are + create the trajectory you long for into the next evolvement of your space holding + business. 8 places available. Early bird release coming Monday March 6th. Please sign up at the link above to be the first to receive information to apply. This retreat was one of the highlights of my 2022. I know it will be for 2023 as well.
I know if you want to read what these are you will I know if you want to read what these are you will slide through them. The uncertain income, refunds, being copied, marketing onslaught + much more - it's all there. ⁠ ⁠ What I really wanted to share with you behind it however, is despite the fact I always try to be as integrity fuelled as I can as a service based biz owner + life coach trainer with @bycacademy - saying such things doesn't always come easy. Or without cost. ⁠ ⁠ I am very very aware that me saying things like this will cost me business.⁠ ⁠ There will be people who read this + the deep desire they have to become a life coach or maybe work with me as a mentor to support their coaching, healing, design, naturopathy, personal training, creative (any kind of service business) will see them step right back. These truths as I know them after nearly two decades as a service based business owner will not address the (sometimes deep) pain they may be holding + the desires they have for their immediate future. ⁠ The desire to make a lot of money. FAST.⁠ The desire to start a business + leave their job. FAST.⁠ The desire to feel + be masterful at their craft. FAST. ⁠ The desire to feel exceptionally confident in promoting themselves. FAST. ⁠ ⁠ And I truly get it. When it can feel like offerings + even promises are being made all around that can give you some or even all of the above FAST - I truly get it. ⁠ When I see however the impact of not understanding some of these realities it's heartbreaking to me. The burnout. The comparison. The lack of prioritisation. The non existent/failing boundaries. The projection. It doesn't need to be this way. It doesn't. It does not. For it not to be however it requires time, radical honesty, time, gentleness, time, trial + error, time, education - oh + a bit more time. It's a marathon/long meandering walk not a sprint. It's an adventure not a destination. It's a journey with no truly defined map. It's a deep exploration of your heart, soul, purpose, calling. And if you're meant to go on the walk, adventure, journey + exploration you will. Not in spite of or in resistance to any or all the above. But - at least in part - because of them. ⁠
There is such spark and joy and adventure and wild There is such spark and joy and adventure and wildness outside the boundaries we so often self-create. And at times fail to then self-manage. We can become insular. Filled with comparison. Measurement. Copying. Even dread. The soul of our work and space holding if it’s to be truly fed and flourish, must receive nourishment from different forms of joy, creativity and play. One coach I’ve always seen do this so well is the divine @rachelcmacdonald who I constantly see immersing herself in nature, home design, fashion, art, documentaries, music. It’s not a coincidence she does such things and is such a successful coach. I’m coming out of a weekend filled with nature, food, art, play and a beautiful floral arranging workshop by @pepperberryflora at @violetandivvy I enter today and this week ahead filled with clients, meetings and a lot of admin with renewed joy, fresh ideas and light in my heart. From and through the inspiration of these things. Treat the source and seat of your creativity and joy seriously. It needs you. And you need it.
Every now and again shiz blows up.⁠ ⁠ And it d Every now and again shiz blows up.⁠ ⁠ And it did at the end of 2022.⁠ ⁠ And it's worth mentioning that shiz blows up in all industries, networks and communities from time to time. Nothing and no one is ever immune to not be part of such things once in existence. It's not just the coaching industry. Please don't let anyone convince you otherwise. ⁠ ⁠ And blow ups can be highly educational, revealing and necessary. They support people to see things they may not have realised, look at something from a different perspective, check themselves, more deeply connect to their own values, integrity and service, make an industry like coaching better - and so much more. Such things can only be good. ⁠ ⁠ Amongst it all however when these things happen - and then often linger or become an ongoing form of business engagement, marketing (because yes it can be that), 'sport' or extended outrage without nuance and seeing the bigger picture - it loses me. When the focus becomes so heavily stacked about what is not right we can lose total sight of all the absolutely incredible things happening and people doing work that is brilliant, positive and life affirming. ⁠ ⁠ Every day. ⁠ ⁠ I'm here for integrity, alignment and ethical practices in the coaching industry at all times. ⁠ ⁠ And that means I must celebrate, honour, uplift, follow, nurture, applaud, stand for and cheer on those coaches who are doing just that.⁠ ⁠ There will always be issues and problematic people. Always. ⁠ ⁠ I'm here to spend more time, effort, energy and love on those who are not.⁠ ⁠ If you're finding yourself 'sick to death' of it 'all', questioning, confused, lost, muddled or any and all combination of the above, may I suggest you do the same. ⁠ ⁠ If you actively seek out and step towards the opposite of what has you bothered it will change you, your life and your business for the better. ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ (Why not share this with someone you know who may need to ponder it, or tag an incredible coach below that inspires you with the beauty, integrity and service of their work. This is how we amplify and support each other and contribute to us all knowing more about the amazing work so many coaches do.) ⁠ ⁠
In my book PRIESTESS I wrote about the sister woun In my book PRIESTESS I wrote about the sister wound + how it was a very real thing causing a lot of women pain. ⁠ ⁠ Feelings + experiences of exclusion, bullying, gossip, comparison, jealousy, copying, competition, betrayal + more. And nothing speaks more to this than how my DM's blow UP whenever I've spoken about it + the stories of hurt it prompts to be shared. ⁠ ⁠ For some of us these experiences may have happened when we were a young girl + have lingered into our relationships with other women now. For others, how we relate to women is heavily influenced by our mothers + how we saw them connect with (or otherwise) women around them. Some of us will have had experiences in workplaces, creative pursuits or businesses that can have cemented deep seated feelings about the role other women play in our lives. ⁠ ⁠ Sisterhood.⁠ ⁠ It's such a lovely word + it's one I find so potent. It does not come without however a lot of heart + soul lead work from within ourselves first + then outwards in how we relate to other women. It's a somewhat romantic myth that it happens naturally + those women we see with thriving friendships just 'have' something that we may feel we or others don't. ⁠ ⁠ While I believe that a sisterhood connection can absolutely feel natural, for it to both thrive + survive, it will require work.⁠ ⁠ Communication. Give. Acceptance. Take. Honesty. Boundaries. Releasing. Loving. Forgiving. ⁠ ⁠ The first episode of The Priestess Podcast for 2023 is out now + it's with the truly divine Life, Spirituality + Business Coach @infinniteyou Fionnuala has navigated some deep + challenging sisterhood waters in her life + they have shaped the successful business woman she is now. There are many searing reasons why the sister wound is so pervasive - patriarchy, white supremacy, colonisation, capitalism, childhood experiences + more. However we can reclaim it if we want to. And I know I surely do, because outside my immediate family the women I call sister in my life are everything to me. What is your relationship with the sister wound + other women in your life? How has it shaped your heart + the openness with which you show up for yourself + others?
It was unplanned. A week before Christmas I felt It was unplanned. A week before Christmas I felt a sudden pull to stop being here. I had already stopped posting as much + felt a positive shift within myself as a result. I had no idea how long it would last for. I trusted myself (rather than my ego that tried to convince me it was not a good idea) + went with it. When would I come back? I didn't know. The time felt perfect for what is the greatest liminal space in the calendar year anyway-when we're never sure what day it is, how many naps are too many (oooof...none!) + if it's possible to turn into a Terry's Chocolate Orange because you've eaten so many segments! (Just me? No? Good!) I both loved my time away from creating content (because everything we share here is a creation) + I also began to feel after nearly three weeks it was time to return. Because for all our groans about social media, algorithms + more-the truth is-I love this medium. The community of people who follow me are real-known especially since my efforts to delete bot/fake followers. I love the small number (in comparison to some) of accounts I follow. I adore seeing what people are up to. I love clicking through book, playlist, podcast, food + fashion recs. I 100% want to know what is happening in my new local community (hey #Warragul). And without question - I am endlessly inspired by the divine work I see many coaches + priestesses doing where my great life + business passions collide. So throughout 2023 I am committing to being here in a way that is in flow with how I feel + what I want at any given time. A way that serves me + my work. And not the medium itself. In my time away I also think it's important to share that my followers/email subscribers grew, people enrolled in @bycacademy + I fielded many enquiries for mentoring. While I was resting + L I V I N G away from here - nothing untoward happened. And so know this... You can rest. You can take a break. Be away from here. Nourish yourself as much as you need. Don't let anyone or anything tell you you can't...including a made up but oppressively powerful notion that if you're not producing all the time you are somehow going to be left behind or miss out.
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I acknowledge the GunaiKurnai people as the traditional owners of the land where my work is primarily operated from. I pay my respect to all Elders – past, present and emerging.

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