My decision to become a part of the School of Shamanic Womancraft Four Seasons Journey was made with bold decisiveness. As soon as I saw it mentioned on Instagram by the woman who was to guide our new tribe of sisters – Nymh Fox – I was a full bodied yes.
Of course if I gently unfold that decision the Divine had been leading me to this journey for a long time. Through reading, meditation, music, exploration of the Goddess and a Priestess Path, in truth She had been leading me here for many moons now.
And so one would think that I would have been filled with joy and wonder at the day finally coming when I would begin this year long intensive journey in Shamanic Womancrafting, deepening my relationship to the Great Mother, meeting in circle with sisters in person and so much more. Instead as I packed my car and drove into the divine landscape of The Otways for the Opening Gathering, I was a bucket load of terrified. My ego gripped me with questions we all ask ourselves so often in so many ways…
- Will they like me?
- Will I be too much?
- Will I not be enough?
- Can I do this?
No one ever said the path of the Divine was easy or not meant to challenge us in the very best of ways. And so it was. And She is. I know it will come as no surprise to you that when I arrived at our beautiful natural camp setting I was embraced and welcomed by women who I felt an instant connection and kinship with. It was in fact like we had met and been there before. And who is to say that we haven’t? Not I.
Over our two days and nights we shared our hearts of soulful introduction, created a beautiful altar with objects that were sacred to us and natural altars outdoors. We circled into the fullness of the cyclical seasons of a woman’s life, the seasons, our moon cycles and birth stories. We made a Shamanic drum that took hours of weaving, lacing, tenderness and sheer grit to bring forth. Few times in my life have I felt such a connection to something born of my own hands. It was love at first sight. And I met my power animal from the lower realm and my guide from the higher realm. There are more stories there for another time.
There were times throughout the experience that I questioned whether it was my place to be there. I cried tears of frustration at my lack of connection to the land and how harsh I found her at times; sunburning hot, wickedly cold, steep to climb and decline, bone hard under body at night. The Great Mother will be my greatest test on this journey but I must remember always that I am of her and she is of me. And there is nothing she will give me I cannot withstand. I need to be there for her as she is for me and not fight her or wish she was something else.
When in circle, process, or a simple one on one conversation with another sister however, I felt so fully at home. Like there was nowhere else I was supposed to be. And I spent time alone too – many times. And despite my extroverted nature and love of being around people, I appreciated being able to do this so many times uninterrupted. This is an emotional journey and sometimes there are no words to be spoken. Only silence and being with oneself that is called for.
I feel abundantly grateful for saying such a bold yes to this journey those many months ago. I have at once come home and been changed forever. And we have just begun. The alchemy of the Shamanic sisterhood has my heart already.
I was clearly an easy catch.