Truth time. I’ve been afraid of this element of my Priestess Path. Like, really afraid.
(And if you think I’m being a bit dramatic just google images of the Creator Destroyer Preserver or Goddess Kali Ma – but maybe not before bed time. “Toto – we’re not in Kansas anymore.” Indeed.)
This is not a Divine Feminine archetype that lives strongly in me. Embodied through the Goddess Kali Ma – the Creator Destroyer Preserver is not for the faint of heart. She is not picking wildflowers for her flower crown or gently basking under a rainbow. She is in fact looking for a resistant head to cut off and a skull to add to her bone necklace. She carries a sword, a trident, a severed head and a skull cup to catch the said severed heads blood in. Yeah. Priestess shit just got real.
People who know me well know that while I can get fired up with the best of them if I feel strongly about something, fact is I’m a loving lioness. I will try to catch ‘a fly’ with honey rather than vinegar every time. I will not be stood on or over, but if you’re going to be ‘like that’ I’m more likely to leave you to your own devices than pick a fight. However Goddess Kali Ma is ready to throw that vinegar, stoke the flames of the fire and totally pick that fight. I have learned however that she does so in love. And with intense and divine purpose.
She comes to us to help us drop our inhibitions, embrace and channel our anger, let go of what no longer serves us, liberate us from anything but the truth and throw away the stories that we think we wear as badges of honour, but are in fact shackles of containment. Above all as the Creator Preserver Destroyer, Goddess Kali Ma is here to lay down the challenge to us to stop being small, igniting within us the knowledge that when we do so – we also keep other women around us small too.
Goddess Kali Ma not only feels confrontational. She is. She challenges us to rip away and destroy anything that stands in the way of our essence and she does not care how much it hurts and how much it will cost. Hers is a path of total blaze and commitment to enlightenment. She is the ultimate bullshit slayer, most of all from the bullshit we tell ourselves. She is committed to our fierce liberation and freedom.
But there’s a catch.
You must surrender to her. No resistance. She wants you to leave behind every.single.thing. in your life that does not matter. That holds you back. That keeps you small. That dulls your light. She is not sent to fluff you up or tell you you’re pretty and enough and ok. She’s here to burn you up and ignite everything around you so that there is nothing left but the true essence of who you are. And when you ignore her – pain follows. She is the sign, the intuition, the feeling, the painful nudge that keeps coming back again and again and again, louder and louder and louder until you can no longer ignore her. Until what must be faced is faced.
Do you need a stiff drink? Because I do!
Whoa. So much for my ego to be afraid of and yet I know now so much to embrace as well. While it has been tempting to run towards Goddess Kali Ma and say ‘light me up baby’ I would be lying to you and doing a disservice to myself if I told you I had done so in exactly that fashion. I haven’t (yet!) but this past month in inviting her closer to me I have noticed the following…
- I have a lower tolerance to a lot of things that I would otherwise have ‘put up with.’
- A huge story I have been carrying with me my whole life has been busted open and is about to be changed. It was not done so by me but by someone close to me who I strongly suspect has Kali Ma working through them very strongly right now. This is both filling me with excitement and dread.
- I have been cleansing and cleaning and clearing around myself and my environment like a mad woman. By doing so I am ridding myself of things that no longer serve me in preparation for going in deeper within myself.
- I am no longer entertaining fear in any way that stops or holds me back. In truth, I have not been doing that for some years now, but my connection to fear is getting weaker and weaker and my connection to love stronger and stronger.
And this of course makes me shake my head (and stick out my tongue!) at myself in stupidity at why I was ever afraid of Kali Ma in the first place. She is the truth telling best friend we all need to be for ourselves when we simply get bogged down with pity and fear and insecurity – and all the things that stop us from shining our full light. And like us all, I still have a long way to go before I’m totally ablaze with searing truth and unwavering self-confidence as she is – but I’m working on it. Aren’t we all?
I’m inviting into my life now more fierceness and less fear. More determination and less dogma. More bravery and less bullshit. More slaying and less slackness. More love and less lies.
Where do you need to call in Kali Ma in your life right now? What is holding you back or dulling your light that needs her slaying to be released?
Share with me below and whatever she is sending to me right now I will gladly send to you.